


CookingWithHoot ぶーぶーちう料理 has updated

by awkwardedgeworth



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Crack?, M/M, and the comments are more interested in bokuto than cooking, wherein akaashi is very tired but also makes asmr cooking videos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-22
Updated: 2020-06-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:48:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24864835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awkwardedgeworth/pseuds/awkwardedgeworth
Summary: [Eng Sub] MSBY Black Jackal Five Tiered Bento Box / ムスビイ ブラックジャッカル 5レベル 弁当6781 views  •  3 hours agoCookingWithHoot ぶーぶーちう料理 4.2K subscribersToday's recipe consist of volleyball onigiri, fried octopus sausages, stir fried vegetables, chicken karaage, and more.akaashi has a small youtube channel. everyone seems to be more interested in his little owl figurines, mysterious husband and the alarming amount of MSBY merch he has than the actual recipes.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Comments: 42
Kudos: 783





	CookingWithHoot ぶーぶーちう料理 has updated

**Author's Note:**

  * For [immunitysystem](https://archiveofourown.org/users/immunitysystem/gifts).



> i attempt? my first foray into crack fic? very poorly? whatever, i still will share this online because it was 2am and immunitysystems and i spent the last six hours creating hcs
> 
> (also please dont @ me with the google translate translations, i know it's not the most accurate, i'm sorry if i offended you)

"Just wait—" Akaashi fiddles with his camera, jumping past the death trap of cables on the ground and tugging the curtains away to let more light in. 

Bokuto sits patiently in front of the table, several onigiris the shape and look of volleyballs with a side of sausages next to it served in a bento box. There's a broccoli from a stir fry that's touching the sausages. He pokes it away with his finger.

"I wish it wasn't so cloudy," Akaashi frowns up at the clouds before going back to his camera set up, focusing as he lowers the field to include his table, the food and Bokuto's lower chest and hand.

"It's not too bad Keiji. Do you want to go for a run after this? I'll help you clean the cables and take down the ring light," Bokuto watches Akaashi give him a thumbs up. 

That's his cue to eat Akaashi's hard work, popping several sausages in his mouth. He dutifully holds up one onigiri to the camera before swallowing it in one gulp.

"Going out for a run would be nice," There's no greater pleasure than to watch Bokuto happily eat the spoils as he sits back onto the stool crammed against the wall.

After enough footage, he stops recording and leans forward, accepting a sausage offered from Bokuto's hand. He bites down on it, Bokuto stretching his neck to kiss his cheeks.

Akaashi stops chewing when Bokuto doesn't inhale the rest of the spread, "What's wrong? You like my sausages."

Bokuto sulks. Six years post high school and he still looks like he hadn't aged. The only difference between _that_ Bokuto and _this_ Bokuto was broader shoulders, thicker thighs and an even stricter on-season diet. 

"Mamiko-san said I should lay off the fried foods and eat healthy fats."

"The first game of the season is starting right? She has her reasons."

"Still! How can I not eat anything you make? Mamiko-san doesn't understand the temptations of living with you!" 

"I'll save some for your bento tomorrow then," Akaashi says, getting up from his seat and tugging on the apron strings to loosen it so he can start clearing their house. The dining and kitchen looked like a typhoon had passed through it, filled with furniture pushed away from the center to make room for ring lights, bright orange extension cables, and his many tripods.

"Aw you're the best!" Bokuto kisses his cheek again before trotting off to the kitchen to start the dishes.

Akaashi smiles fondly after him, following not too far behind.

* * *

**[Eng Sub] MSBY Black Jackal Five Tiered Bento Box** **/** **ムスビイ ブラックジャッカル** **5レベル 弁当  
** 6781 views • 3 hours ago  
 **CookingWithHoot ぶーぶーちう料理** 4.2K subscribers  
Today's recipe consist of volleyball onigiri, fried octopus sausages, stir fried vegetables, chicken karaage, and more.

**nyanyatettsun** 45 minutes ago  
wow~ you have a lot of MSBY limited edition merch in the background

**tsuruhyaku897** 30 minutes ago

he's a fan. Cardboard Bokuto holds his apron when he does Q&A/vlogs

**kyohogurapu** 6 minutes ago

Arms-san must be very sad! hoot-san loves Cardboard Bokuto over everything!

**yamatan** 37 minutes ago  
how cute, i definitely will be making the volleyball onigiris for my son. thank you~

**CookingWithHoot ぶーぶーちう料理** 5 minutes ago

You're welcome.

Load other comments

* * *

"I saw your video," Shirofuku says after she lowered her arms from waving him over, meeting Akaashi at the gates of the stadium.

Akaashi works in a tall tower owned by FKDN, a media and newspaper company that leases all of their remaining floors to various businesses. Shirofuku works nearby and sometimes takes her lunch with him if she's not calling Suzumeda, so they've been spending a lot of time together ever since Akaashi was transferred over from the Tokyo branch.

Today they're meeting each other to see the first match of the season between MSBY and Adlers. 

They are two people fighting to hold a conversation among, shuffling slowly through the line going into the stadium, "What did you think of it?"

"What did I think of it? I thought the quality had gone up a lot compared to your last video! The lighting, the little figurines, the softness...you should consider rebranding to an ASMR cooking channel."

Akaashi tilts his head, lowering his smaller camera down. He was attempting to vlog, but it proved to be too crowded anyway so he slips his camera into its protective soft case, "You're very kind, Yukie-san."

"I'm telling the truth, Akaashi. Are you planning something else at the moment?"

"Sweets," They scout the vendors for some merch, Shirofuku smiling as he stretches his neck up to gaze if there were any limited edition merch he could add to his vastly growing collection, "I want to challenge myself."

"How evil, and you know that Bokuto's season is starting."

Akaashi gives her a devious smirk, "What his dietitian doesn't know won't hurt her."

"Oh, are you a black market dessert dealer now?"

They settle into their seats after purchasing some beverages, "I could be," He watches as Bokuto practices his serves next to a black haired man with curls. Across the net, an orange haired man, smaller than the rest of them, is diving on the floors, catching every single one. 

He holds the camera out and holds against his chest, listening to the blare of pop songs through the stadium's sound system. He and Shirofuku talk about mundane things, what they've last heard from the old Fukurodani crew and the curry Bokuto made the other night that was surprisingly good.

"Are you free to eat dinner with us after the game?"

"Sure am, I won't say no to Bokuto _and_ food," She laughs as the music stops and Akaashi stops recording, sitting straight up in his seat. He starts clapping, joining the other spectators as the commentator start introducing the teams.

* * *

[Thumbnail of a platter of lavender cookies on a white plate with a tiny owl figurine next to it and Akaashi wearing a bomber jacket with a #12 MSBY shirt underneath, sitting in the stands.]

**[Eng Sub] Lavender Cookies + MSBY Black Jackal Vlog / ラベンダークッキー +** **ムスビイ ブラックジャッカル** **vlog  
** 11829 view • 18 hours ago  
CookingWithHoot ぶーぶーちう料理 4.3K subscribers  
I attempt to make lavender cookies 3 times before succeeding. There are also clips from the MSBY match two weeks ago.

**hoshino** 17 hours ago  
you didn't buy your husband a ticket? :(

**CookingWithHoot ぶーぶーちう料理** 17 hours ago

he didn't want one

**ninano** 16 hours ago  
(°ロ°) ! what does your husband think of your Bokuto-san shrine?

**CookingWithHoot ぶーぶーちう料理** 15 hours ago

He thinks it's funny.

**ninano** 15 hours ago

QQ fighting Arms-san

**kyohogurapu** 14 hours ago  
is anyone here from the MSBY Post Game Interview when Hinata-san vaguely mentioned that Bokuto-san's SO makes really good desserts? ;; it's no use hoot-san, you're pursuing a taken man

**nyanyatettsun** 14 hours ago

F

**ninano** 13 hours ago

omg that's so sad. F

**himehimero** 10 hours ago

F. but also? the recipe is bomb. this is some _good_ shit

Load more comments

* * *

Akaashi is replying to emails from his bed, typing madly at his laptop. He just got off a call with his author, managing to wrangle her away from her downward emotional spiral as she questions the state of her main character's growth and identity. It's such a biweekly occurrence that Bokuto has gotten used to the sound of her sobs as he sits quietly next to him.

Bokuto hums, face alight from the phone in his hands. He'd been sharing Akaashi's latest video on his twitter account, "Hey, Keiji?"

Akaashi grunts.

"I'm scrolling through your videos and comments. How come most of them aren't about cooking but about MSBY and our upcoming matches and your obsession with tiny owls from the gacha machine and my cardboard cutout?"

Akaashi pushes his glasses back onto his nose, "I spent 34000 yen on that cutout, I need to put it in every video to get my money's worth. Speaking of my channel, Bokuto-san, how do you feel about appearing in my Christmas special video tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow?"

"We can make Christmas cakes. You like cakes, right? Yukie-san said that there's a new pastry shop that opened near Ebisu station that focuses on French pastries, I was thinking we could go there on your next day off, shop, clean the house and then watch a movie. The 27th Detective Conan movie is out next week."

Bokuto sounds concerned, "Am...Am I going to be _in_ the video tomorrow?"

"You're always in my videos."

"No, only my chest and arms are."

"Yes, I mean you entire body will be in my video. Only if you want to participate," Akaashi sends the email he's working on into the void and opens up another one, "How do you feel about wearing a costume that covers your face? I will wear one too, I already have it in our closet."

"Sounds exciting, sure," Bokuto coos happily, wiggling in his pillows and blankets. He leans on Akaashi's arm, peering at the email, "Your author is flighty."

"Nothing I can't handle, would you like to help me out and buy the movie tickets?"

Bokuto taps his phone screen, "On it!" He sinks back down into his mountain of pillows, gazing at Akaashi as his screen loads with the seats he can reserve, "Are you almost done?"

Akaashi re-reads his email quickly before sending it, taking his glasses off and putting his laptop on his nightstand, "Yeah," He watches Bokuto turn off the lights with his cellphone, wiggling deep into their blankets. He and Bokuto have separate ones as they both fight for it in their sleep.

Bokuto worms as deeply as possible into Akaashi's side, sticking his leg out of his blanket and throwing it on top of his.

"Hey, Keiji."

He grunts again.

"Tsum-tsum is being sneaky around our backs. I don't know what's going on with him. He's not focusing on his tosses. Half of them hit my head and then Omiomi gets really mad and yells at him before he snaps out of it."

One part of Akaashi's conscience wonders how much money he can sell to the tabloids if his lips were to loosen. Bokuto is a melting pot of team rumors and gossip. It's a bad habit he picks up from Konoha surely, "Have you tried talking to him?"

"He did. I asked Myaa-sam too of what he thought."

"What did Myaa-sam say?" He yawns, slitting his eyes shut. Bokuto's head migrates to his chest. Akaashi scratches his fingernails through his hair.

"He's denying it."

"Then maybe we should leave it alone. Ask Kiyoomi-san to yell at Tsum-tsum before important matches, surely that will get you through the league."

Bokuto snorts, saying something, but Akaashi is too tired to compute it very well.

"...Right?..."

He agrees, sinking into the darkness.

"Really?" Bokuto asks warily, waving the set of contact lenses in front of Akaashi.

"Your eyes are very distinct," He smiles with a set of his own blue contacts blinking up at him. Bokuto swallows, getting distracted. Akaashi with brown eyes is lovely but he's also as deadly with light blue eyes, "I just don't want everyone to start having theories."

Bokuto sighs, shuffling to the bathroom. He drapes the black cloth over himself, putting his mask on. A set of brown eyes peer back at him. It's unnerving, so he leaves.

"I get a heart attack every time I look in the mirror," He announces.

"Hmm," Akaashi vaguely replies, staring at the ingredients he's measured beforehand. The living room looks like a disaster again, but what is new? He looks up at him, green earrings swinging from his lobes, "They're not uncomfortable are they?"

"They're fine."

"I'll film as quickly as possible and then we'll take them off," Akaashi cups his hand around Bokuto's face. Bokuto beams, leaning down to kiss him and apologizing when headbutts Akaashi with his mask.

* * *

[Thumbnail of Akaashi dressed up as Howl from Howl's Moving Castle with a jaunty set of reindeer antlers with soft bells at the tips. Someone dressed up as No Face with red and green garland wrapped around his neck like a scarf and Santa hat that's slipping off his head is staring listlessly at the camera, holding a piping bag.]

**[Eng Sub] Christmas Cake + Husband Bakes With Me /** **クリスマスケーキ** **\+ 夫が一緒に料理する  
** 13645 view • 1 day ago  
CookingWithHoot ぶーぶーちう料理 5.3K subscribers  
Today's recipe is a vanilla based Christmas cake. We learn how to make marzipan decorations and how to frost a cake. Arms-san makes a special guest appearance.

**nyanyatettsun** 23 hours ago  
ive never noticed but Arms-san is the same height as Cardboard Bokuto

**hoshino** 22 hours ago

so? lmao

**kyohogurapu** 23 hours ago  
I might actually make this one! Also every time Arms-san looks into the camera I dieeeee lmao

**hoshino** 22 hours ago

22:47 you can see his soul escaping his body

**hoshino** 22 hours ago

hoot-san makes a cute howl!

**kyohogurapu** 23 hours ago

i wish he talks more :( Arms-san is so shy

**ninano** 16 hours ago  
do you think this can work with almond flour instead of cake flour?

**CookingWithHoot ぶーぶーちう料理** 2 hours ago

Maybe. I will try it and get back to you.

**ninano** 2 hours ago

(o´∀`o) hoot-san replied!

**nyanyatettsun** 1 hour ago

QQ he doesn't reply to me

**ninano** 1 hour ago

he only replies to comments about baking

**himehimero** 18 hours ago  
how many little owl figures does he have lol every time i come here there's more

**tsuruhyaku897** 3 minutes ago  
ASHDKASFHAF on hinata-san's IG there's a pic of the 94-96 generation eating lunch during practice and bokuto-san is eating the volleyball onigiris that look like the ones hoot-san made! (ಥ﹏ಥ) bokuto-san's SO watches hoot-san's channel confirmed. this is so sad.

**nyanyatettsun** 2 minutes ago

thats so sad, alexa play despacito

**hoshino** 2 minutes ago

that meme is so old

**joro** 1 minute ago  
lmao why are they dressed up in costumes for christmas. maybe try harder next time and research the holiday?

**hoshino** 1 minute ago

you don't need to be so rude wtf. he explained it right in the video, hoot-san wore a costume bc his husband is camera shy and he didn't want to make him feel left out

Load more comments

* * *

"Hey hey hey I'm home!" Bokuto belts out, shuffling through the door and jumping when he sees Akaashi on the floor. He's lying on his stomach, hallway light off, face illuminated by his laptop and talking furiously into his cellphone.

" _Please listen to me, Misaki-sensei_ , if you do this it'll come out of nowhere and shock the viewers! It'll be an entirely new genre! Isn't this manga suppose to be about the young petals of youth? With swishing plaid uniform skirts, sakura scented confession letters and friendship?"

Bokuto takes off his shoes in the genkan as quietly as possible, stepping over Akaashi's sprawled out figure as he puts away his bag away in the living room and starts pulling ingredients out of the fridge. 

"It makes no sense for Keiji-san to do this, especially over what happened in the Sports Festival arc," Akaashi's voice floats into the kitchen, tired. Bokuto can imagine him rubbing his eyes so he heats up a pot of water for some tea. 

His cellphone rings. Bokuto hurriedly answers it.

" _OHO!_ "

"Oho," He whispers, cradling his phone between his ear and shoulder. He starts chopping some green onions.

" _Why are you so quiet?_ " Kuroo asks. There's a distinct 7-11 chime going off in the background. Someone is thanking him for coming in, " _Is Akaashi in one of his narcoleptic phases?_ "

"Narcoleptic? Since when? No, he's in the hallway speaking to his author. I think she's being troublesome again."

" _He was always good at wrangling troublesome folks,_ " Bokuto stops chopping, giving the air in front of him a look because he knows what Kuroo is referring to, " _He should sleep more is what I'm saying, I think last time we hung out and I drove, he slept the entire way to Costco to buy that stand mixer. What is the author doing now?_ "

Bokuto listens to Akaashi begging the author to not kill off a certain character, "I think she's confused about her plot again like she is every other week. You know, I'm surprised how many people die in the manga. It's suppose to be shoujo too."

" _Ah yes, we've all been there with our classmates moving away, going abroad, switching schools...._ "

Bokuto pulls out a pack of udon from the fridge and the instant dashi packs from the cupboard, accidentally jostling his cardboard cut out, "That volleyball manga Udai-san is writing is good though."

" _Oh, so good! I think it'll be well received. Isn't there talk of an anime adaptation?_ "

"I'm keeping my lips sealed."

" _Aw_ ," Bokuto hears a wrapper being pulled, the plastic crinkling. He starts worrying if Kuroo is eating properly, being out so late every day to focus on his dissertation, labs, and undergrad students. Who is there to feed him grilled fish when Bokuto isn't there? He used to make Kuroo fish skin chips when Kuroo's undergrad was in Osaka, " _Oh by the way, can I crash at your place?_ "

"...Like right now?" Bokuto switches the phone to the other ear, plopping a frozen clump of noodles into the boiling water. He frowns, "I'm cooking, you'll have to wait ten minutes at least before I can drive."

" _No, no silly! I'm coming to the game!_ "

"YOU ARE?" He hops on the spot, poking the noodles with long chopsticks. "We should get yakiniku! I'll wrangle Hinata and Moody Boy to come along! Oh and you have to take some of Myaa-sam's onigiris with you back to Tokyo!"

" _Is that meal even Mamiko-approved?_ "

Bokuto sulks, straining the noodles out and placing them in bowls. He puts a hand on his hip, "What she won't know won't hurt her."

" _Alrightie, I'll let you know what time my shinkansen arrives. Do you want anything?_ "

"Can you get us some sweet potato Tokyo Banana?"

" _...I thought you hate that thing._ "

"Keiji wants it for some reason. He says he needs it for research."

" _Ohhhkay sure, I'll let you two eat dinner now_."

"Bye Kuroo!" Bokuto sticks his head out into the dark hallway, "Keiji," He whispers, "Dinner is— GEH!"

Akaashi lies face down on the floor. His laptop screen has shut itself off. One slipper is lying several feet away, "Thank you for making dinner, Bokuto-san."

Bokuto hears himself sigh, shuffling close to him and poking Akaashi's head, "You're going to catch a cold lying on the ground. What did your author say?"

"I've managed to stop her tears," He fixes his glasses, slowly pulling himself up. Bokuto winces when muffled cracks emits from his joints, "The drafts she sent were quite...worrisome. It was as if she was writing another manga to be honest, but it's fine, I told her to drink some water and step away from her story for a bit."

"Why'd you lie on the ground like that?"

"I was hunched over my laptop, my back started hurting so I needed another position," They shuffle into the kitchen. Bokuto tosses a bag of tea in a cup, pouring the broth into their bowls and bringing it to the small dining table. "I heard you shout. Did something happen?"

Bokuto slurps, watching his the ends of his noodles flick broth onto Akaashi's glasses, "Kuroo's coming for my next game!"

"That's exciting," Akaashi takes off his glasses and places it on the table, "He's staying over for the night then?"

"Yea, yea! Do you think we can get yakiniku?" He adds, "Also Keiji, your eye bags are so dark they're sentient. It's captivating."

"Thank you. Did you ask Mamiko-san if yakiniku is on her approved list of foods to consume?"

Bokuto slouches, "Why is everyone concerned about what I eat?"

"Because Koutarou," Akaashi dryly says, leaning forward to wipe Bokuto's lips with a soft smile. It sends little zings to his heart even if Akaashi has a piece of pine needle in his hair and the most crumpled shirt he's seen, "Your body is your job. And because she said you should control your lipid consumption."

"But grilled pork belly is so good!"

"It is," Akaashi admits, pulling out his phone to check something before frowning at it.

Bokuto lowers his bowl down, "What's wrong?"

"A rude comment," Akaashi rolls his eyes, "Don't worry about it. Shall we go to the conbini after and get some ice cream?"

"Washio-san."

Washio lifts the corners of his mouth up, surveying the way people are side-eyeing his EJP Raijin uniform and jersey. He stands in the midst of MSBY supporters, Akaashi being one of them, his MSBY scarf around his neck as Kuroo drapes the banner around his shoulders.

"Long time no see," They shake hands. Akaashi introduces Kuroo to him, checking his watch in concern.

"Not warming up? It's going to start soon. Your team is glaring at us," He's only ever attended the EJP's away game though Washio understands. Akaashi has priorities in life, seeing Bokuto was one of the higher ranking ones before they finally stopped the long distance.

"In a minute. Just wanted to say hi."

Akaashi nods, tilting his head up, "We're getting yakiniku afterwards, ask your Coach if you could go back separately. You can camp out in the guest bedroom with Kuroo-san—"

"EH?" Kuroo squawks.

"—Or we have a pullout couch," Akaashi offers with a smile. Washio cracks a rusty laugh, the corners of his eyes crinkling, "Or we can move Kuroo-san to the ground and let you take the bed."

" _Akaashi_ ," Kuroo headlocks him immediately, smelling like aloe hand sanitizer and his cologne. Akaashi laughs, "How dare you do this to me—"

"I'll take the couch."

"You sure?"

Washio grins, waving goodbye and jogging away. Akaashi pokes his sharp elbows into Kuroo.

"I should have known he was your classmate."

"Why?" Kuroo releases his headlock and gives him a side-eye, taking off his reading glasses to show faint dark circles underneath his eyes. There's two grey hairs poking out of his scalp but Akaashi won't tell him. He himself probably has one from each of the meltdowns Misaki-sensei gives him.

"He also looks like an owl."

Akaashi smacks him in the stomach, clapping his hands as they start the match. Kuroo coughs, leaning his head onto his shoulder and grumbling about his attitude.

Bokuto is serving first. He throw the ball high up in the air, as tall as the stadium ceilings.

Everyone's head soars upwards. Bokuto glances at the stands and immediately spots them, the only two people who aren't following the ball. He winks at them.

Akaashi laughs and waves at him with his scarf.

"Ugh you're both disgusting."

"We've been together for ten years now," He watches as the service ace sails past the EJP's libero, touching the end of the back line. The crowd roars, Bokuto grinning as another volleyball is rolled to him. He rolls his wedding band around his finger, settling in his seat and analyzing the player's movements. "You should be used to it."

"Are you kidding me? You hated PDA at first. Now you're all mushy and very much in love and rubbing it in people's faces."

"Because I thought back then I wanted to grow up as quickly as possible and get a job where I can move out to Osaka to follow Bokuto-san."

"What does this have to do with PDA?"

"I've accepted the things in my life that make me happy. There's no point in pretending I don't like them to appear otherwise."

Kuroo sighs, "I heard our thirties are suppose to be better than our twenties. I hope that's true. Ah, there goes Shrimpy again. I swear he must have his ankles replaced in a surgery with springs, how does he still jump so high after this many years?"

"Division 1 players are on an entirely different level. He beat his record for his jumping reach the other day."

Kuroo's voice is dry, "Oh goodie. What is it now?"

"338 cm."

Kuroo sighs, ripping open the container of onigiri they bought from "Myaa-sam" several minutes ago, "And what Bo's?"

"Now? It's 349 cm."

"What's Ishikawa Yuki's?"

"351 cm."

"Ushijima's?"

"I don't remember. Hinata asked Kageyama a few weeks ago but I haven't heard anything back," Akaashi swallows the rest of his umeboshi one and stares thoughtfully into the container for his next one. Mentaiko or curry cheese?

Kuroo stares at his onigiri, "Holy _shit_ this is so good. Are they expanding to Tokyo anytime soon? Can they buy a shop and place it next to Chuo University?"

Akaashi snorts, clapping as Bokuto's blocks Washio out, grinning widely at the arena, "I've been asking Myaa-sam that for years. Good luck convincing him."

* * *

[Thumbnail of two images, the first of beer glasses clinking together in the middle, everyone's faces cropped out of shot and the second of Black Jackal fans celebrating and jumping in their seats, waving banner and flags.] 

**[Eng Sub] MSBY Black Jackal vs EJP Raijin Vlog / ムスビイ ブラックジャッカル vs イージェーピーライジン Vlog  
** 14700 view • 5 day ago  
CookingWithHoot ぶーぶーちう料理 5.7K subscribers  
No recipe today. Here are clips from the game + yakiniku with friends afterwards

**hoshino** 5 days ago  
omg is that YOUR HUSBAND NEXT TO YOU AT THE YAKINIKU? he is HANDSOME (is that the EJP MB sitting near them too?)

**himehimero** 5 days ago

ASDHSLFHSFSD I SAW THEM SITTING IN THE GAME AND I THINK IT IS?? THEY WERE LAUGHING A LOT TOGETHER

**CookingWithHoot ぶーぶーちう料理** 5 days ago

He's a good friend. My husband was on the other side of me.

**hoshino** 5 days ago

are you sure? Handsome-san is the same height as No Face 

**CookingWithHoot** ぶーぶーちう **料理** 5 days ago

Very sure.

**nyanyatettsun** 5 days ago  
8:12, 9:14, 16:03 👀 i want a workout routine 

**hoshino** 5 days ago

bless u for the timestamps of Arms-san

**tsuruhyaku897** 5 days ago

yall are blind, that friend is skinnier than Arms-san?? are we seeing the same person?

**hoshino** 5 days ago

i think they're the same?

**tsuruhyaku897** 5 days ago

they're not here i've given you a link of fancams pointing out the differences

**hoshino** 5 days ago

t...tHANK YOU!

**tsuruhyaku897** 5 days ago  
that's a nice shirt! where is it from?

**CookingWithHoot** ぶーぶーちう **料理** 5 days ago

uniqlo

**kyohogurapu** 5 days ago  
it's fuji apple season! will you be making something with them?

**CookingWithHoot** ぶーぶーちう **料理** 5 days ago

Yes, i'm planning to make apple cake soon.

Load more comments

* * *

Akaashi opens his eyes blearily to see Bokuto madly typing with one hand as his cheek presses against his chest. He squints at the clock on the wall to find that it's five in the morning. The TV in front of the bed shows a half-finished episode of an American cartoon.

"Are you _trying_ to be a firebender?" He rasps.

Bokuto swivels to him, hair down, eyes watering. Akaashi is taken back, blinking the crust out of his eyes and yawning, "Why are you upset, Koutarou?"

"Have you seen the comments on your videos?!" Bokuto shoves his phone in his face. Akaashi bats it away with a groan, the screen too bright for his eyes. It's still dark outside, being late November. He grabs Bokuto's pillow and shoves it on top of his face.

"Keiji!"

"Don't mind the mean comments, Bokuto-san. It's the internet, you can't please everyone you meet," He yawns, trying to fall back to sleep with a warm cement block on his chest.

Bokuto whines in his ear, pulling off the pillow and tossing it away into the darkness of their room, " _Kei-ji!_ We're married!"

"It was a slip of the tongue, I'm sorry. Let's go back to sleep," Akaashi dozes off. He's floating in the darkness, hearing blips of conversation before Bokuto rips his blanket off and mounts of top of him, glaring down.

" _Aka-ashi!_ "

"What is it?" He moans, opening one eye and pawing for his blanket. That too, is gone, presumably chucked across the room. The TV screen turned dark, only the whites of Bokuto's eyes can be seen and the vague outline of his body. He pokes Bokuto's side, "And you're heavy, please stop crushing my lungs."

"That vlog you uploaded! They think Tettsun is your husband!"

"Who cares about commentors on the internet?" Akaashi shuts his eyes again. 

Then he blinks, pushing Bokuto off as he tumbles sideways. He sits up immediately alert, "Wait, what did you call Kuroo-san?"

"Huh? Tettsun? It's a nickname."

"Tettsun? _Tettsun?_ " He hysterically repeats. He swipes for his phone, opening the youtube app and scrolling down to see comments, "Does he have a youtube account?"

"Everyone has an account to watch something, Keiji. I sure as hell ain't going to look up videos on lifting every single time I go to the gym! I have a playlist saved. Are— are you okay— hey!" He tries to paw Akaashi away from his phone, reaching up with his hands.

Akaashi swats his hands away. Bokuto tries to yank it away from him, wailing, "What are you doing?!"

"What are _you_ doing?" Akaashi jabs him in the stomach with his elbows. Bokuto moans, slumping into his bed.

" _YA_. Kuroo-san!" Akaashi raises his voice into his phone. Bokuto hears Kuroo groan from the other end, "Don't tell me you're NYANYATETTSUN who has been commenting on my videos all this time?"

" _I'm busy tomorrow morning Chiharu-san, please just leave your paper on my disk and I'll havealookatitlater,_ " Kuroo starts out articulate before his voice blends into one monotonous tone. Akaashi hears snores coming out of his phone, eye twitching.

" _Kuroo-san!_ " He seethes, crushing his phone in his grip. He doesn't remember user names very well but there was always a few profile pictures that would routinely show up in every video. Bokuto meeps from beside him.

" _Kuroo-sanwantssomesleep, pleasevisitmyofficehourslaterthankyoubye_."

The dial tone echoes in their bedroom. Akaashi stares at his phone until the screen dims and goes dark. He leaps out of bed, suddenly full of energy.

"K-Keiji! Where are you going?" Bokuto says, leaping up after him as Akaashi pauses at the door and picks up his boxers from the floor. He tosses Bokuto's pair behind him somewhere, hoping that it hits his head.

He spots his _Exercise?? I thought you said extra rice!_ shirt on the ground as well, pulling that over his glasses, "I'm going to make bread, toss it to Tokyo and hope that it hits Kuroo-san in the face!"

> OHOHO (06:01): ???W AHT DID I DO. Akaashi called me earlier?? I think he screamed at me but it could have been a dream. ive been getting so many stress dreams man. i dreamt that my stapler stapled my hand to my laptop and i had to guest lecture with a really big oven mitt the shape of a laptop and everyone laughed and all my teeth fell out
> 
> Me (06:01): link THEY THINK YOURE KEIJIS HUSBAND.
> 
> Me (06:02): IM ARMS-SAN. HOW COULD THEY

> OHOHO (06:19): L M A O WHO MADE THAT MOCK FAN CAM I LOVE IT
> 
> Me (06:20): I HATE YOU
> 
> Me (06:20): also the reason he called you was bc he thinks you're "nyanyatettsun" on youtube

> OHOHO (06:29): aw, busted
> 
> Me (06:29): wait really that's true?
> 
> Me (06:29): he's gonna kill you
> 
> Me (06:29): he's stress baking rn, making bread. i think he's might throw it at your face next time you come here

> OHOHO (09:10): in my defense, i never said anything mean to him
> 
> Me (09:21): i know, i think he's just embarrassed. we're in the ER now

> OHOHO (12:16): sorry, had office hours. WHY ARE YOU HOSPITALIZED. DO I NEED TO FLY THERE?
> 
> Me (12:18): he forgot knives were sharp and held it from the blade. instant cut :( its ok im treating him to ramen and movie rn
> 
> OHOHO (12:17): :( tell akaashi im sorry if i made him feel weird
> 
> Me (12:18): tell him yourself
> 
> OHOHO (12:18): he doesn't hate me?
> 
> Me (12:19): nah i think youre ok

* * *

[Thumbnail of a slice of a cream colored cake with apple filling and jam between the layers with a small miniature owl figurine next to the plate and a pixelated man with black hair laughing with a drawn in circle with the captions "this asshole can never be my husband /この嫌いな人は私の夫になることはできません :)" written underneath.]

**[Eng Sub] Fuji Apple Cake + Short Q &A / ** **ふじりんごケーキ + Q &A  
**26941 view • 4 day ago  
CookingWithHoot ぶーぶーちう料理 8.7K subscribers  
Today's recipe is a fuji apple cake. We learn how to make apple jam. I answer a few questions regarding my life.

**hoshino** 4 days ago  
hoot-san has such high standards, Arms/Asshole-san is so handsome

**CookingWithHoot ぶーぶーちう料理** 4 days ago

Never in a million years.

**hoshino** 4 days ago

(°△°|||) then what is he to you?

**CookingWithHoot ぶーぶーちう料理** 4 days ago

the trash on the side of the road, unrecycable. i haven't been able to dispose of him since we met

**hoshino** 4 days ago

hoot-san is surrounded by good looking people *-*

**ninano** 4 days ago  
ah! those marzipan decorations came back again. are you a baker irl hoot-san?

**CookingWithHoot ぶーぶーちう料理** 4 days ago

No, I work in an office. Sometimes from home.

**ninano** 4 days

! amazing! your desserts are really well made. what does Arms-san do?

**CookingWithHoot ぶーぶーちう料理** 4 days ago

Thank you. He's a personal trainer.

Load more comments

* * *

"Ah there they are," Iwaizumi says, breath coming out in think puffs. Kuroo only needed to stretch his neck up several centimetres from his slouch, half hidden behind a tree, to see Akaashi and Bokuto weaving through the sea of people. It's an hour into New Years and the couple trekked from Osaka to Tokyo to visit their families.

Bokuto's hair is down, a toque jammed onto his head. He grins at them when they near, leading Akaashi out of the throng of people.

Akaashi is wearing a hunter green winter coat, black earmuffs clamped around his ears and a loose scarf hanging down his neck. 

"Want some drinks first?" Iwaizumi asks when they're closer, shivering in his coat. Kuroo snorts, noting how Akaashi is coolly Not Looking In His Direction. He's staring at the ground, oblivious to passing women who are staring at him appreciatively.

"Your husband is attracting some attention," He knocks into Bokuto's shoulder as a greeting, squeezing the hand warmer in his pocket as they all shuffle to the amazake stand billowing steam into the cold air like a bellow. Bokuto's black studs twinkle in the string of lanterns around the shrine.

"Yeah but we're married," Bokuto flutters his left hand, a rare occasion of him wearing his ring. Usually it was kept under his jersey for games on a fine chain, away from the dangers of being scratched.

"God," Iwaizumi sighs, "Was it only two years ago? Felt like a decade."

Bokuto laughs as they stand in line. Akaashi has his back turned to him, muttering in a low voice into his phone as he wears his " _I am speaking to Misaki-sensei cry over the phone please ignore me for a bit_ " look.

Their talk consist of Iwaizumi's job, his new dog, Kuroo's never ending sea of papers, Bokuto's games, and Akaashi's work. They talk about every mutual friend they know and what they've gotten up to. Some of these people are ones each other haven't seen for more than a year at times.

"I think my teen self would've been horrified if I told him I wouldn't see Akaashi on a semi-monthly basis," Bokuto says as they shuffle away from the stand. He's holding Akaashi's drink as the latter follows them, still talking to Misaki-sensei. "Relationships are so hard! Especially when you have to long distance!"

"At least you're married now," Iwaizumi says.

"God don't encourage him," Kuroo sighs, watching Bokuto giggle and wave his left hand as best as he can with the hot amazake splashing in the cup. "He's even more insufferable every since he got married."

"Hehe, married to Keiji~"

"Did you guys drive here?" Iwaizumi asks.

Bokuto turns from affectionate to horrified in a blink of an eye, dropping his voice, "Hell no, do you not know how fast Keiji drives? There's a reason why Kuroo and I don't let him hold the keys."

"What?" Iwaizumi probes, "Like he's a speed demon or something?"

"Even worse, I don't know how but he learned how to drift and do donuts on his own."

"I never got a ticket," Akaashi's voice floats into their conversation. He looks slightly smug, taking his cup from Bokuto's hand, "But Koutarou still wouldn't let me drive us around."

"I get anxious when you drive okay?"

"Fair enough," Kuroo and Iwaizumi laughs, "Is this all of us?"

Iwaizumi pulls out his phone, "Matsukawa has a shift tonight and Hanamaki is back in Sendai."

"Why aren't you in Sendai come to think of it?" Bokuto turns to him.

"My parents are vacationing in Europe," Iwaizumi scoffs, "Without telling me until last week I might add. I was ready to buy tickets for the shinkansen and stand the entire ride up north— Wait. Is that Azumane Asahi?"

They all pause in their trek to the line of people waiting to ring the bell and peer into the throng of people.

"Wah, it _is_. Azumane-san!" Iwaizumi runs off, Bokuto following him. Akaashi opens his mouth to tell Bokuto to look before he runs blindly into the crowd but closes his mouth when they jump on the ex-ace of Karasuno who flinches as he starts rambling about how did they appeared from thin air.

Bokuto starts gesticulating with his hands, pointing to them happily. Akaashi and Kuroo bow their head in greeting, starting to move.

"Wait Akaashi," Kuroo clears his throat, "I have something to say."

Akaashi blinks neutrally, poker faced. 

"...Are we good? I'm sorry if I made things awkward. I just wanted to show my support," Kuroo runs his hand through his hair, forgetting that he has a toque on as it slips off. Akaashi bends down and quickly snatches it before it could be stepped on.

He offers it, "I was embarrassed at first, but it's fine."

"Sorry," He says quietly.

Akaashi gives him a small smile. Kuroo mirrors him; he's forgiven. Akaashi quickly takes his hand in a handshake, crushing it, smiling innocently as the bones in his hand creaks, "However, if you do that again I'll toss the brick bread I made over livestream to you."

Kuroo breathes in sharply, weakly whimpering, "I don't remember your grip strength being this strong."

"I have a lot of stress lately in my life."

"Noted," Kuroo rasps. Akaashi lets go of his hand and leads the way to where the former aces of the high school circuit are standing. Above, the snow begins to fall.

They make their prayers, Iwaizumi buys some charms to send overseas to Oikawa, Kuroo selects a few for Kenma and they select some fortunes, tying them to the rail as their lips turn blue.

"You can go first," Bokuto waves at them, Akaashi next to him, hopping on the spot to get some warmth to his toes. His cheeks are red and he's forgone looking fashionable, the scarf now tightly wound around him, "We want an ema."

"Eh?" Kuroo blinks.

Azumane hums, "Maybe I should get one too."

Iwaizumi waves, "Alright, see you tomorrow for yakiniku?"

"Yakiniku!" Bokuto cheers. Iwaizumi and the others start to trek out of the shrine grounds, hoping to find a vending machine on the way back to the station to purchase hot drinks. 

Kuroo turns around to look at the before they walk down the stone steps. It's much emptier now with most of people finishing hatsumode. Iwaizumi is yawning, telling Azumane of how Oikawa used to stay up until 4 easily back when they were in high school. Azumane's mouth drops, "I can barely stay up past eleven now!"

Bokuto and Akaashi have their head bent over a wooden plaque, scribbling on it with a sharpie. They're both laughing and flushing.

Kuroo grins, turning his head back around and thinking of what hot drink he would get.

**Author's Note:**

> bokuto in a no face costume inspired by https://bit.ly/3dwrnM5
> 
> a series of hcs:  
> 1) akaashi does that asmr relaxing type of videos where he only shows his hands. he show his face only for vlogs  
> 2) bokuto comes at the last few seconds of each video to eat his stuff, again, viewers only see his impressive arms and chest and not his face  
> 3) only shirofuku knows of his channel, i mean but kuroo is smart and connect A to B when bokuto kept retweeting videos from cookingwithhoot's twitter  
> 4) akaashi is number one MSBY fanboy, he has all the bokuto merch, he loves cardboard bokuto most  
> 5) akaashi needed a full body costume to hide bokuto in because his eyes and hair sticks out. it was that or the other budget option, the nun from the conjuring 2  
> 6) every time akaashi makes bread after realizing kuroo knows of his videos he destroys all the gluten and it becomes rock hard  
> 6.5) bokuto will eat it anyway. his fans become concerned when he makes a tweet about how bread is working out his jaws  
> 7) kuroo's contact name in bokuto's phone is OHOHO, you cannot convince me otherwise  
> 8) "exercise?? i thought you meant extra rice" shirt is from mike chen's merch line
> 
> i worked 6 days in a row this week at the hospital. im very tired. please. please wear facial coverings and wash your hands diligently. from a health care worker, i Beg


End file.
